Grey Matters

Grey is the dominant color of winter these days. I wake up to grey mornings and peek through the curtains, desperate to see a chink in the clouds and a stray, struggling ray of sunshine yellow pushing its way through.

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I have nothing against the color grey. It makes up a large part of my winter wardrobe!  I also like the grey of rainy days. But when it gets cold and grey, I’d rather have yellow, red, salmon, orange… anything but grey. That being said, I must add I like winter rains; the drizzles as well as the downpours… I seem to be contradicting myself. But it’s not a contradiction, I just can’t stand the dip in temperature. But both go hand in hand here… with droplets becoming ‘ice rain’; it’s something I’m still not used to after over two years in this country.

There’s something about rain and me. Perhaps, it’s not only me… I find it romantic. These days that translates to #nostalgia. So here, in my little room, I’m all by myself and I play old numbers, gaze at the changing shades of grey outside, hoping for the sunshine tomorrow.

Gone are my days of walks in the rain. I loved that. Or frolicking under a downpour on the rooftop (terrace) of our house, drenching myself under the first shower of the monsoon season. Gone. Gone. Gone. So, I keep myself happy with cooking rainy day foods! Yes, you heard that right… rainy day foods.

We have many such assorted foods for wet, cold, and dull days that cheer up a sagging spirit. I guess there is a way that leads from the tummy to the heart after all, and it doesn’t apply only to the male species!

More days locked in due to inclement weather leads to me dreaming. I have a #dream, an #aspiration. I intend to pursue it, but right now, I’ve barely done half the spadework and I’m already #intimidated. Needless to ask why. It’s my boogeyman – technical and internetwork! They always bare their fangs and send me scuttling into a corner. However, I’ve decided not to give up.

That sounds so good… but braver than I feel, by the way! Still, I’m going to go through with it, my physical limitations and circumstances notwithstanding, even if it takes me some years. At times like these, I wish elves didn’t just dwell in fairy tales and were available at the drop of a sigh!

It surprises me how the #yearnings and #wishes pile up in direct proportion to the years I notch up on my birthdays and the amount of grey I have in my hair! Right now, I wish I were closer to my native land and all my friends, relations, and things familiar. Two decades ago, I’d not be so bothered about distances. Not for want of love but because the distance would not rise as an insurmountable obstacle.

There is more I don’t take for granted today than I did earlier. Times and people have changed and things are no longer as they used to be. I have learned more in the past decade. I take more trips down memory lane than I ever have, but I don’t dwell there.

The present may not be all that I’d dreamed of or hoped for, but what I have is far more than my expectations, given the tragedies, circumstances, and difficult times that have come my way. I’d rather live in it and learn new things and move on. And while I’m on my way, I might as well kick my heels and do a song and dance even if it’s only in my mind.

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The besieged sun rays!

On a lighter note, among all the new things I learn, I sometimes stumble upon newfangled words like “pizzled”. I learned that it describes, quite aptly, a situation which leaves one ‘#puzzled’ and ‘#pissed off’.

In other words, #confused and #annoyed. 

It seems that everyone has a #word #mint at their disposal. If the word gains currency, it will soon find its way into a dictionary. That’s language – dynamic and ever-evolving. Though, I’d rather say I am #confoyed if I had to coin a new word to describe how I felt in a similar situation.

I’d like to hear of some more of these new compound words. 

With this quote ringing in my ears, I sign off for today.

“You can’t beat a person who never gives up.”